First, I want to say the response to Tuesday’s post (“Finally waking up at 43”) was wonderful! I received so many supportive emails and many people are or have been struggling with similar issues. And, thanks for all the birthday wishes, too. 🙂
Second, I missed on yesterday’s newsletter. Besides some planned time off, that’s the first newsletter I missed in a REALLY long time.
Normally, that would really bug me…
But, I’m beginning to look at things a little differently…and two things I need to work on are:
- Being too rigid with myself
- Beating myself up when I “fail” to meet, my (often unreasonable) expectations
Yesterday was a big transition. As I mentioned on Tuesday, I’m stepping back into coaching at The Transformation Club. That means I need to figure out and be flexible with my new schedule…
While I planned to write a newsletter yesterday, the day just didn’t go that way…and sometimes that’s going to have to be OK with me.
It’s not always going to be perfect. In fact, it rarely is.
Often you just have to do the best you can in the situation you’re in with the knowledge and awareness you have…
Now, that doesn’t mean you have to rest on your laurels or just settle…unless of course, you’re really happy with the status quo.
This has actually always been a struggle for me.
There’s an internal battle of always wanting to innovate, improve, and “get to the next level.” It’s always, “how can it be better?” or “what more can I do?”
While that’s great for production and achievement, it really sucks for stability, as well as actually enjoying what you do have and what you have done…
I think I can sum up my approach to most of my life something like this:
Happiness without joy.
Here’s what I mean:
Happiness is a result. It’s something I’m constantly pursuing…
For example, a great accomplishment (writing a book, losing 20 pounds, building your dream home, etc.) can bring happiness…but it’s usually fleeting.
I’ve been very driven my whole life and as such have accomplished quite a bit. However, as I look back at some of the biggest accomplishments in my life I realize that I was happy when it happened (often not nearly as happy as I thought it would make me), but then it was on to the next thing…
I believe joy is in the process – the day to day stuff it takes to write the book, lose the weight, build the house, etc.
I’ve gone wrong here in a BIG way!
By the way, I see this all the time with people who do weight loss programs.
They’re so focused on the end result thinking THAT will make things better and bring them happiness…and maybe it will for the moment they do their final weigh-in, but that “happiness” usually doesn’t last…and neither does the weight loss.
I think it’s because they didn’t look for and BRING joy to the process.
If you can relate, please let me know if I’m on the right track.
Back to me coaching…
It’s always made me happy when we sign up a new member and help them get great results. On the flip side, I’m always torn up when someone decides to quit.
Given the business I’m in, you can imagine the emotional roller coaster this approach to happiness can have…
But, when I focus on being present, in the moment, WITH my members, I can bring the joy to my work…and receive it. I realize, for me, coaching, not sitting in my office “running the business,” helps me do that a lot more. 🙂
I lost sight of this as my business boomed and I got caught up in the “business side” of things.
I suppose, like many people who want to lose weight, I focused on the outcome/achievement goals too much without paying much attention to the more important habit/behavior goals.
By the way, writing this newsletter is also a joyful process for me…
I’m just going to have to figure out how it fits into my daily (or not) schedule going forward.
While I’m figuring that out, I’d love to know your thoughts on what came out of my head and into this newsletter today…
Does it make sense?
Have you been like me at all?- chasing happiness, not experiencing joy…
Was this insightful, meaningful, helpful in any way?
HAVE FAITH & TAKE ACTION!